I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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