You're so nebulous sometimes
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize