apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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