I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
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we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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