I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
