We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
nutella sex= disaster
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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