is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
