the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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