Buhtt sex?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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