It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize