We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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