Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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