i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I am one with the molecules
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
