my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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