Porn is love you can see.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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