operation harelip BJ is a go
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
