More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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