margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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