So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
