Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize