im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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