She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
