I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
