Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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