I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She announced her abortion via fbk
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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