I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
