I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
