ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
