she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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