Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
