Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
