thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
