Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
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Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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