i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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