Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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