I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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