The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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