Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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