I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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