Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
