I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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