You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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