Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
