He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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