Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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