She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
