Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
