i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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