I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
