I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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