Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
she looked like the before picture.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
