dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
vagina is talking i cant
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
