You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
