I can tuck mytits in my pants
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
