Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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