We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
