some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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